Excerpts & Photos

“Heinz, this band’s on the way up and playing at the Arcadia is the way down. We’re fed up of performing in dumps like that with a stage the size of a goat’s scrotum and an audience more accustomed to being interviewed by Interpol than entertained by a world-class orchestra.”

“So, Herr Kapellmeister, what he’s telling me is that your orchestra has stolen my public! Stole them right out of my club and took them to another club!”

Wolfgang tried to shift the blame. “And it didn’t help that the scheiße manager next door, having realised our small error, made it worse by handing out welcome drinks!”

“We start playing at eight and it will be good for you two to watch and get a feel for the repertoire.”
“Eight? So what time do you finish? Around ten or eleven?” I asked.

They looked at each other in surprise and both burst out laughing.“Funny man,” Roger chortled. “I like a bloke with humour. No, three a.m. It’s a breeze.”

For a moment I believe I was speechless. Eight till three? A seven-hour gig?
With just a hint of sarcasm, I managed to croak, “Oh, that’s alright. I promised myself I didn’t want another nine-to-five job.”
“Oh, don’t worry,” he said. “We get those as well!”

Live at the Imperial, Worms, June 1972

The blue-suited gentleman looked him up and down with interest. In perfect English, he said, “No, I don’t think so. Yolanda never performs before eleven thirty. And who, by the way, are you?”

“Roger, dear chap. And this is my orchestra, The Statesmen Singers.”

“Well Roger dear chap, my name is Figaro Schmaltz and I am the international business manager for Yolanda, the Swiss singing star.”

Roger digested this new information. “I see. And you have a contract to work here?” 

Figaro stared at him curiously.

“Hmm, let me see,” he drawled. “If this is still the Bayerischer Hof Hotel, and the sign above the front door said it was…” He made a big theatrical gesture of stroking his chin and surveying the room. “And this does look uncannily like a nightclub…” He turned back to Roger and smiled genially. “Then yes, we have a contract to play here for the next two weeks.”

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